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    Preeclampsia Robbed Me

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    Today, June 22nd, is the first anniversary of the worst day of my life.

    On June 21st, 2015, it was Father’s Day. It was an extra-emotional Father’s Day for my family because my own Father, was leaving the next day on a 10 day mission to Iraq. I don’t know if any of you have traveled to Iraq lately, but getting there, and staying there, is currently quite dangerous. There is a lot I can’t say in regards to his trip, but my family and I were quite nervous for his safety. Regardless, he felt called to go, and we knew we had to let The Lord use him. That night, we went out to dinner and then dessert, gave him his gifts, and said our goodbyes.

    My dad hugged me a final time before going our separate ways “Don’t have that baby while I’m gone!” he said. “I won’t. I promise.” And I truly meant it. I was only 35 weeks pregnant after all.

    The next day, I would be hospitalized.

    The next morning, we woke up and Kurtis drove me to my 35 week appointment. Everything looked good except they were concerned that my blood pressure was a little high. They had me stay late for extra monitoring to make sure everything was okay. Thinking everything was fine, Kurtis stepped outside to get on a conference call for work, while I sat in the doctor’s office alone, listening to the baby’s heartbeat.

    The doctor came in 20 minutes later, and by the look on her face, I knew something was wrong. Kurtis was still outside and I was alone and terrified. She told me based on my blood pressure and protein found in my urine sample, they were officially diagnosing me with preeclampsia. She told me what preeclampsia was. That my body was basically rejecting pregnancy. That this could result in heart attack, seizure, stroke, and even death. She told me that I should go home and rest and gave me a list of signs to look out for and told me if I had any of them to go to the hospital immediately, and the baby would then have to be delivered. One of the signs was severe headache, that would not go away after taking tylenol. I felt a knot in my stomach and told her I had had a horrible headache since that morning and had taken tylenol hours ago to no avail. I watched her face fall as she told me I needed to get to the hospital right away, and that she was going to call them immediately and tell them that I was coming. I was still alone.

    I wandered out into the parking lot, choking back sobs, searching frantically for my husband. I finally saw him around a corner, yelled his name, he lifted his head and his eyes met mine. He took one look at me, barked into the phone at his boss that he had to go and ran to me. I told him what happened through tears and we headed for the car. He prayed over me and the baby and we sped to the hospital. We spent hours in triage while the monitored my blood pressure, trying to decide how to treat me. Eventually, they admitted me.

    In the 3 hours since I had arrived my preeclampsia had progressed from mild, to moderate, to severe. They took blood. They took urine. The hooked me up to machines and poked and prodded me. Kurtis called my mom to come stay with me while he went home to get us clothes and other necessities. I wished more than anything my Dad could be with us too.

    In the next few days my blood pressure would go up and down, eventually resulting in the emergency delivery of our son via c-section. Preeclampsia robbed me of so much.

    Preeclampsia robbed me of my father being present to meet his grandson after he was born. Preeclampsia robbed me of having my father by my side during the scariest event of my life. Preeclampsia robbed me of a labor experience. Preeclampsia robbed me of a birthing experience. Preeclampsia robbed me of a newborn experience.

    I am a Mother and yet I have no idea what birth feels like. I have never felt a contraction. I’ve never dilated. I’ve never pushed.

    I do know what it feels like to recover from abdominal surgery. I know what it feels like to monitor your blood pressure at home. I know what it feels like to obsess over every little symptom, wondering if it could kill you.

    I am a Mother, and I could have died while becoming one.

    I am not the same person as I was before June 22nd, 2015. I have never dealt with more stress, more devastation, more disappointment. I was broken. I was weak. I was depressed. And I was sick. So sick, anxiety ridden, and terrified.

    But in the year since, I have recovered. I have survived. I am stronger. I am happier. This horrible experience resulted in the greatest blessing. An extra 5 weeks as the most wonderful role on the planet. Sawyer’s Mom.

    It took a huge toll on me both mentally, emotionally, and physically. For so long I longed for a normal birth experience. To go back and re-do that horrible week in the hospital. That horrible day I was diagnosed. Is there something I could’ve done differently? Something to prevent this horrible disease from threatening mine and my then unborn child’s life?

    There is nothing I could have done. And I am so lucky. I am so lucky to have made it out with my health in tact. I am so lucky that Sawyer was born with strong lungs and no major health concerns. I am so blessed. So blessed.

    I thank The Lord every day for taking care of me. For watching over me. For his hand in the whole thing. I wasn’t supposed to go to the doctor that day. It was supposed to be a week later, but something came up and I had to reschedule. It makes me sick to think of what could’ve happened if I hadn’t rescheduled and my blood pressure had continue to climb all week without my knowledge. We could’ve lost Sawyer. They could’ve lost me. I know it’s no coincidence we had to reschedule and I thank The Lord every day for intervening on my behalf. Kurtis wasn’t supposed to be with me. I was supposed to go to the appointment alone, because he had to work. He was able to switch his shift at the last second and come. That was no coincidence either.

    In the past year The Lord has taught me so much. About myself, about strength, about trusting in him, and about Motherhood. Preeclampsia is part of who I am. It made me a Mother to the most beautiful little boy. I am filled with joy at the things it’s brought me. It made me a Mother. Kurtis a Father. Our Parents Grandparents. Our Siblings Aunts and Uncles. I would do it all over again, in a heartbeat.

    Thank You, Jesus, for this precious gift of health, of life, of family, of love. I am speechless and humbled at the thought of it.

    But he said to me ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness so that Christ may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.- 2 Corinthians 9-10

     

    xoxo.

    Creamy Honey Lemon Pork Chops and DIY Sink Cleaner!

    This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #ScrubDishCloth #CollectiveBias

    Paleo Lemon Honey Pork Chops

    Happy Monday! June is just flying by! Today, I’m sharing an awesome recipe and tutorial I’m really excited about!

    You all know how I enjoy eating clean and living a chemical free lifestyle. Today I’m sharing two things that fit into both those categories. I’m going to show you how to make a delicious paleo meal, and then how to execute your clean up with an amazing DIY chemical-free sink cleaner! Let’s get started.

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    My Husband Deserves the World

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    So I got him a watch.

    Moments are bigger than minutes and your watch should tell more than time.

    -JORD

    This is my husband’s first Father’s Day and I wanted to make sure I got him something memorable. We’ve had a crazy year. Our start into parenting was a rough one. With my hospitalization, Sawyer’s weight gain issues, and all our car trouble, it hasn’t been the easiest time.

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    But we got Sawyer out of it all. And Kurtis has risen above all of it and blown me away time and time again with his strong desire to be the best father he can be. I wanted to make sure I gifted him something that represented how much I appreciated him during his first year of Fatherhood. I spent hours searching for the the best gifts for men and finally found something! His first Father’s day comes just one week before Sawyer’s birthday and we’ve truly come full circle, I wanted it to be special.

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    JORD Wood Watches makes incredible watches for men! When I told Kurtis I was ordering him a JORD watch of his pick, he couldn’t even decide! He was so excited and spent hours deliberating over which watch to get. He finally decided on this one and he loves it! If you’re searching for Father’s Day gifts, look no further!

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    We settled on the Delmar series in Dark Sandalwood and Blue Carbon. It is extremely strong and masculine looking. Perfect for any Dad! It has a dark, smooth look, and fits his wrist perfectly. With a 1 year old and a dog, we can already tell the quality is amazing! (Sawyer might have already tried to feed it tot he dog, and it made out without a scratch!) Since these watches are made out of wood, the are extremely unique and durable. It will last your man a long time and no one will have anything like it! My husband loves watches, he has many of them. But since receiving this one, he’s worn it every single day. These are definitely the best watches for men.

    Since I stumbled upon JORD on Instagram, I’ve been obsessed with them. They make gorgeous watches for men and women alike. They make watches for every style, your man is sure to find something suitable to his tastes. A JORD watch can be paired with any look. My husband wears suits to work and instantly changes into shorts and a t-shirt when he gets home. He keeps his JORD watch on with both outfits! This is by far one of Kurtis favorite gifts I’ve ever gotten him. If you’re looking for unique gifts this Father’s Day, JORD is the place to look.

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    This past year with our son has gone by so fast. We blinked and it was over. Although time is going by way too fast, we can watch it in style with JORD. For Dad’s everywhere, give the gift of time this Father’s Day. Kurtis loves his JORD Wood Watch so much that we’ve teamed up with JORD to give one of my lucky readers a $75 credit to JORD Wood Watches! Click HERE to enter!

    Oh, and you get a $20 e-gift card just for entering! Your e-giftcard can be applied to any of the watches on the JORD website! Enter and tell your friends!

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    Unique Watches

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    And shop HERE!

    Disclaimer: I received this item in exchange for review. All opinions expressed are my own. 

    xoxo.

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    The Best Summer Accessories

    The Best Summer Accessories

    Summer is my favorite time for style. I’m a dresses and skirts girl so summer is my favorite time to style looks.  There’s just so much you can do with summer style!

    Right now I’m really into accessories, specifically wrist candy!

    REEDS Jewelers has the best options for wrist candy! Everyone needs a staple watch in their jewelery box. It’s a must for the best wrist jewelry. I have this one by Michael Kors from REEDS, and I love it! When styling your summer accessories, the more the merrier! Good wrist accessories feature more than one piece, it’s pleasing to the eye and compliments your summer style!

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    Friday Favorites- Re-play Recycled

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    Happy Friday! I’m extra excited for the weekend this week! I’ve got lots to do because Sawyer’s first birthday party is next Wednesday! Then, the week after that, we’re headed on vacation to Balboa Island! So many exciting things are coming up for our family and we can’t wait!

    Today, I want to share with you a really fun product I’ve found called Re-play Recycled.

    Re-play Recycled is children’s dish ware. They make no-spill sippy cups, plates, bowls, snack stacks and more. Here’s the cool part…they’re all made from recycled HDPE plastic…milk jugs!

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    Essential Oil Spotlight- All About Lavender

    All About Lavender

    Today I’m talking about an oil everyone should have in their house- Lavender. Even if you’re not into essential oils, you should definitely have some lavender in your house. If there is one and only oil you buy in your whole life- it should be lavender.

    Lavender is a gentle oil so it’s one of the very few that doesn’t have to be diluted- unless you have extremely sensitive skin. I usually dilute it when I use it on Sawyer, just to be safe. You can never be too careful when using essential oils and want to make sure you are properly educated in using them correctly. Here are some of the amazing uses for lavender.

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    Summer Must-Haves! – Pool and Beach

    Summer Must Haves

    Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links

    Happy summer everyone! So far, we are having an absolute blast! I’ve been putting together a list of things I need, and things I already have that I know you’ll love and wanted to share. Here are some must-have’s for the best summer ever!

    Mom-Friendly Swimsuits

    One-pieces are so in right now and I’m loving it! I’ve lost all my baby weight but my stomach is never going to be the same after grown a 7 lb baby so one-pieces are definitely my friend this summer! Being a mom doesn’t mean you have to opt for the ugly shorts and tank top combo at the beach. You can still be covered up and modest while rocking a cute and even sexy one piece, tankini, monokini, or even a bikini!Luckily the Nordstrom Half- Yearly Sale is going on until Saturday and I’m loving a lot of their swimsuits! Here are my favs.

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