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It’s 3 am and I can’t sleep

My mind is abuzz with wedding details.

When I lie in bed alone I miss Kurtis the most. And so then I start thinking about our wedding. And how I really hope I don’t look bloated in our wedding pictures. (I tend to carry all my weight in my face, which is the biggest bummer of all time. Gain 3 pounds? Boom. Double chin.) And then I start thinking about our condo. And all the things we need and don’t have yet. And how much that all is going to cost. And then I start to stress out. And then sometimes I cry. And is it still acceptable to sleep with a simba stuffed animal after I’m married? If it’s not, I’m not sure if I’m ready to give things like that up yet. 

Becoming an adult is more stressful than they ever prepare you for. Marriage is scarier than you think, when all you’re thinking about is the pretty dresses and flowers, you sometimes forget to think about the big picture.

Not that I’m having any second thoughts. I’m not. Never. I’m just starting to come to terms with it all. 

And coming to terms with it all is kinda freaking me out.

But I wouldn’t change a thing. Because I can’t believe how much I love him. How I can’t wait to come home to him everyday. How blessed we are. How every time I start to stress out about something, God provides for me again and again. And I can’t believe that this is my life, and that it is so wonderful, despite any struggles. 

But sometimes I just wanna press pause.

If you’re awake, like me, and reading this, you should ask me questions to keep me entertained!

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