The Worst Thing 

I chose a C-section.

And it wasn’t the worst thing. It was the best thing. It potentially saved mine and Sawyer’s life.

I hear a lot of talk about birth plans. For some reason, women seem to be deathly afraid of C-sections. They want to avoid them at all costs, it is their worst case scenario.

I understand wanting to have a natural birth. It’s such a beautiful, special experience and our bodies were built to do it. I deeply hope I am able to experience it one day. But just because your body was built to do it, does not mean you are invincible. I’m here to tell all of you that C-sections are something to be immensely grateful for. Do you know how lucky we are that, in the state of medical emergency, C-section is even an option? It keeps mothers and babies from dying. I understand that getting a C-section means something went wrong during delivery, and yes, that’s devastating. But it’s so, so amazing that despite something going wrong, you and baby are here and healthy.

C-section was never in my “birth plan.” For some reason, throughout my pregnancy, I was always oddly at peace with the idea of a C-section. I wanted a natural birth but my thinking was that if anything went wrong, anything at all, if they lost the heartbeat, if the baby went into distress, if he passed meconium and asphyxiated on it, just get him out safely. No matter what the cost to me. 

Unfortunately, in my family, there have been multiple cases of child loss at birth. And so, I was terrified. I knew what could potentially go wrong, and so in my birth plan I decided I just wanted Sawyer out safely. If that meant a C-section, a vacuum assisted delivery, an episiotomy, whatever was needed! Just get him out safely. I had an overwhelming sense of peace when it came to these things.

I know now that this thinking was The Lord preparing me for my own C-section.

When I was first admitted to the hospital, and they realized we were going to have to deliver right away for my safety, Sawyer was breech. So, they gave us two options. To try to turn him and then induce me, or have a C-section.

Our doctors talked to us extensively about both options, then gave Kurtis and I a few hours to talk and think it over. There are many risks with turning a baby. If you do it, there is a 50% chance it won’t even work. There is also a 50% chance that if it does work, they baby will just flip back within 24 hours. There are also risks that it will severely elevate the baby’s heart rate, or even cause it to drop. There’s also a chance the chord could wrap around it’s neck if it hasn’t already.

I have nothing against turning a baby. My little sister was breech, my mom had her turned, and they both turned out fine and healthy. After talking to the doctors about the pros and cons of both options, and talking it over ourselves, we decided C-section was the better option for us. We didn’t want to take all the risks of turning him, when there was such a high chance it wouldn’t even work or he would flip back, and then I would just need a C-section anyway. We felt that, turning him posed more risk to him, and a C-section posed more risk. to me. I was willing to take those risks with myself, but not with my baby.

(Disclaimer: I am aware that C-section still poses risks to baby. This was just our opinion.) 

We didn’t choose this because I didn’t want to deal with a painful and/or long delivery. We didn’t choose it because we felt it was the easy way out. We chose it because we felt it was best for our son. My recovery was awful. So much worse than I thought it would be. Recovering from abdominal surgery and recovering from a vaginal delivery are very different. Believe me when I say it was not the easy way out. Being able to get him out quickly and safely potentially saved our lives. Preeclampsia is no joke.

It makes me so sad when I talk to women or I read online how turned off they are by C-section. I even came across a hateful group on Facebook that claims that those who have had a C-section have not really given birth and are not truly mothers. It broke my heart.

So, to all your expecting mamas working on your birth plan, please don’t be so afraid, and please do not be closed minded when it comes to birth. We all want that natural, beautiful birth experience everyone talks about, but nothing ever goes according to plan. Mine sure didn’t. It is not the worst thing. Something happening to you or your baby is the worst thing. And a C-section can help prevent that. I am so thankful for modern medicine and it’s advances, that a life saving surgery such as this one, is available to us if needed!

Did your birth go according to plan? Did you have to face your “worst case scenario” like I did? Comment below!


14 thoughts on “The Worst Thing 

  1. Hi! Never been pregnant but all my friends have and they debate on what’s best for them. I know people have their ideas on what is best, but the reality is, as long as you and the baby are healthy in the end, I think that’s the silver lining! People can be so judgmental and it just seems as though we see it more because social media is everywhere and more accessible to sharing and reading other’s opinions. But everyone’s entitled to them but it doesn’t mean it’s right for them 😉 Glad you had a good experience and a healthy baby!

  2. My birth did NOT go as planned. Emilia was a week late. When I was 40 weeks 3 days my Dr gave be till 41 weeks 2 days to have her naturally and if I had not gone into labor I would be induced. I did not want to be induced. I had heard horror stories of women being induced and not progressing. For 4 days we tried everything to go into labor. We tried natural path meds, lots of walking, bouncing on an exercise ball and in the pool, sex, nothing worked. So Tuesday at 2 pm we grabbed our stuff and headed for our long stay at the hospital.

    When they started my induction I was no where near dilated or softened! And to make matters worse, Emi’s head was so far down that when they checked my cervix they had to reach around her head to get to it which was SUPER painful! They started me on the cervical softening drugs first which made me start having mild contractions and by 2 am I was in full blown back labor. My one biggest fear was having to get an epidural. I don’t like needles at all and I didn’t want a giant one going in my back! But when you are shaking uncontrollably and vomiting from the pain from back labor you got to do what you got to do.

    By 12 pm Wednesday they started me on pitocin and broke my water and my labor really kicked into gear. At first I couldn’t feel the contraction pain because of the epidural but when I went into transition labor the pain came back.

    By 7 pm Wednesday I was fully dilated and ready to push! As I was pushing and she was descending I started bleeding out through my vagina. Turns out that part of my hymen had not completely broken and her head broke the rest of it, popping a blood vessel and causing me to start bleeding. At that point it was go time to get this baby out. I was being sewing up which still trying to push my baby out. They gave me an episiotomy, and grabbed the suction cup to help out. After 40 minutes of pushing we had a healthy baby girl screaming in our arms. And after it was all set and done I had lost 600 cc of blood. That’s almost double what the average women looses in childbirth.

    So no my child’s birth did NOT go as planned. But with all the drugs and nurses and drs and such I am so happy at our out come. My life was saved and my child is healthy and happy.

  3. My first birth was natural, but if it had come down to a c-section for a safe delivery, I would have done it without hesitating. My son actually had the cord wrapped around his neck twice, so they used a suction thing to help get him out faster. With my twins, I had an emergency c-section. If it had not been done, I would have lost one or both of them. I really hate when other mothers judge each other about their deliveries. We should just be concerned with getting the best outcome for everyone.

  4. So wonderful – you made the right choice for your family… and most important – it was your decision! I also hate when people judge other mothers…. blessings to you!

  5. I had to have a c-section with my first one after 17.5 hours of labor pains and I only dilated 3cm. At that point I was exhausted, heart rate dropping so was my sons. They chose to do an emergency c-section. I was definitely scared at first but when I got pregnant with my second child I chose c-section again. My body isn’t meant for all the fun stuff. :/ but no more babies for me. lol

  6. I always heard that c-sections ruin your body and I’ve always had to worry that in the future I might have to have one. Now that I’ve read your story, I feel less scared.

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