I don’t like change.
Who does, really?
I like things that are familiar. Familiarity is so so comforting to me. Throughout my pregnancy, one of my favorite things to do to relax is set up my laptop outside a bubble bath, or in my bed and watch Netflix.
I watch the same things over and over again and that makes no sense to my husband. I like to watch Friends and How I Met Your Mother. I’ve seen every episode of both shows probably 3 or 4 times, easy. Kurtis doesn’t understand why I keep watching them, or rather, why I actually enjoy watching them.
It’s familiar to me. I know the characters. I love them. I can depend on them to make me laugh. I know the story lines. I know how they end, and I know they won’t disappoint me (Okay, HIMYM disappointed me a little, but I just skip that last episode and it’s all good).
When I first found out I was pregnant, I was so terrified. It is the biggest life change I could have imagined for Kurtis and myself. Everything was going to change. And not just a little bit, but drastically. I started watching HIMYM from the beginning and then moved on to Friends. It made me feel better. Comforted and safer somehow. I don’t like to take risks on new things.
This not only applies to Netflix but to every aspect of my life. I’m terrified by the idea of one day moving for Kurtis’ job because I love our little house and I love our little town and our families are here and I am so comfortable. But maybe I’m not supposed to be comfortable. Maybe God wants me to be uncomfortable so that I seek comfort in him.
New things are scary. Change is scary. And that’s something I’m going to have to be better at dealing with as my world gets turned upside down in a few weeks. My heart needs some work in this area, and I have to let The Lord work on me in that way.
Baby steps. Maybe I’ll start by watching something new on Netflix…after a few more episodes of Friends of course.