If you haven’t already heard the news…I’m pregnant!
I’m about 11 weeks along. We waited to announce due to the fact that we lost our last one, so we wanted to wait until at least the first ultrasound to make sure the pregnancy was viable and going well. We didn’t wait the full 12 weeks most people usually wait to announce, because I’m already showing and couldn’t hide it anymore! I got a little bump probably around 8 or 9 weeks that rounded out by week 10. They sure aren’t kidding when they say you show earlier with your second! I wasn’t expecting this at all! I know it’s a minuscule bump compared to what it will look like 20 weeks from now, but I feel huge. I waited to tell my coworkers until we knew everything was okay and I had to hide it at work, that was stressful.
I found out I was pregnant on Thanksgiving morning. We had been trying for a while with no luck. We decided to start trying right after Sawyer’s first birthday (end of June). We had never “tried” before (Sawyer was a big surprise), so we didn’t know how long it would take or what to expect. We wanted our kids about 2 years apart, so we started trying as soon as he was 1.
I got pregnant on the second try (August) and we were blown away at how fast it happened.Unfortunately, we ended up losing that baby really early on at the 4 week mark (read all about that here). We were devastated. However, since the miscarriage happened so early, the doctor told us we didn’t need to wait to try again (in the case of most miscarriages, they tell you to wait a month, until you’ve had at least 1 “normal” cycle before trying to conceive again), and could start as soon as we felt ready. We knew the clock was ticking to give Sawyer a sibling by the 2 year mark so we did start trying right away.
It took a few months and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t sad and frustrated. I feel guilty saying that. I know there are women out there who try and try and never get pregnant. Or it takes them years before they can successfully conceive. And here I am complaining about 3 months. But those 3 months were torture. I had just lost a baby, and every week I was thinking “I would be 8 weeks along by now”, “I would be 12 weeks along by now”, “We would have announced by now”, “I would be showing by now”. I wanted to be pregnant so badly. And the first 2 had happened so quickly, I assumed this one would be quick too. And when it wasn’t…I was sad. It was a sad few months.
But my husband and I are blessed with fertility. I know that. I know how lucky we are. I don’t take that for granted. And every month we got back on the horse, prayed for our future baby, and had hope that I would be pregnant again soon.
In November, my cycle was late. In August when I found out I was pregnant with the one that we lost, I didn’t wait until my cycle was late. I had a weird feeling I was pregnant so I took one of those early detection tests that can “tell you 5 days before your missed period” I started bleeding from the miscarriage right around the time I was supposed to get my period anyways. If I hadn’t of taken the early detection test, I never would have known I was pregnant. I would have assumed the miscarriage bleeding was period bleeding, and never have known. But, because of the early detection test, I did know. I’m glad I know. Life is life and conception is conception and I’m glad to know I have a baby in heaven to meet someday.
But I didn’t want to go through that again. No early detection tests for me. I waited until I was actually late, and then even waited a few days more. On Thanksgiving I was 5 days late with no blood in sight and so I decided to take a test. We went to the Starbucks near our house for breakfast, it’s inside a Safeway so after we ordered I went and grabbed tests and took them in the bathroom.
We got our coffee and food and headed to the car (we were going on a little hike).
“So, what did they say?” Asked my husband. I hadn’t gotten up the courage to look at them. I pulled them out of my bag.
“They say I’m pregnant.” We were silent for a minute. Taking in what that meant. Then he smiled. I smiled. And we high fived.
We decided to wait a few days to tell our families. We told them about a week later. After the first ultrasound, we told our close friends and extended families, and then, a few weeks later, we told everyone!
I’ve been sick. A lot of nausea, fatigue, headaches. I’m exhausted all the time and try to squeeze in naps whenever I can. It’s funny, because even though this pregnancy hasn’t been super easy, it still feels a lot easier than Sawyer’s. He had me hugging a toilet most days, and they had to prescribe me Zofran (hallelujah), just so I could complete daily tasks. So, even though I’m not feeling great, it’s a huge improvement.
Because of my history with severe preeclampsia (read all about that here), this is a high risk pregnancy. The risk for preeclampsia goes up if you’ve had it before. It goes up even more if it was a severe case, which mine was. I don’t HAVE to get it again, but there is a higher chance. The doctor’s will be keeping a close eye on me, I take a baby aspirin every day, and we’ve been doing baseline preeclampsia tests. Preeclampsia doesn’t exist until the 3rd trimester, so I at least have until then before I have to really start worrying, (I got it with Sawyer at 35 weeks).
If I do get preeclampsia again, this might have to be my last pregnancy. My doctor would “highly suggest” I be done having children if I get it again. Which is basically what Kurtis and I had already decided anyways. Whats the point of having lots of children if it means they might have to grow up without a Mom?
However, if I don’t get it again and this pregnancy goes well, I would really like to have a third! I just have to convince my husband.
Thank you all so much for your kind words and support. It truly means the world to us. Please be praying for a healthy, full term, and preeclampsia-free pregnancy. We know The Lord is going to take care of me and baby both, but we can’t help but be scared.
As always, all these beautiful pictures were provided by Our Front Porch Photography. Mention All Things Lovely for $20 off your session when you book!